What Kathoey Really Means — Beyond the “Ladyboy” Stereotype

The White Lotus Moment

In Season 3 of HBO’s The White Lotus, a powerful monologue by Sam Rockwell’s character, Frank, brought global attention to gender variance in Thailand. He reflects on a sexual encounter with someone he first thought was a “girl,” but who turned out to be a “ladyboy.” He describes how that experience made him question his own identity: was he attracted to “Asian girls,” or something more complex?

This scene resonated deeply online — but to fully understand it, it's crucial to get familiar with the term kathoey and its cultural history.

What Is Kathoey?

• Kathoey (กะเทย) is a Thai gender category that's very fluid, not just a one-to-one match with “transgender woman.” Them+2Wikipedia+2

• According to Nalin Satearrujikanon, founder of The Future Is Ladyboy, a kathoey can be someone who has transitioned — or simply someone who expresses femininity, or doesn’t conform to rigid masculine norms. Them

• Historically, the concept of kathoey goes deep: it’s been part of Thai spiritual and social life for centuries. In some Buddhist teachings, gender variance like this even shows up in ideas about reincarnation. Them

• Because Thailand wasn’t colonized in the same way many countries were, its gender-diverse traditions weren’t erased. That helps explain why kathoey are a visible, important part of modern Thai culture. Them

The Controversial Term: Ladyboy

• “Ladyboy” is often used in English to refer to kathoey — but it’s not always accurate, and can carry problematic baggage. Them

• For many foreigners, “ladyboy” sounds exotic, fetishized, or even demeaning — especially because it’s often used in the context of sex tourism. Them

• That said, some in the kathoey community are reclaiming the word. Younger queer Thais use “ladyboy” playfully, confidently — in TikToks, in clubs — as a performance of self-love. Them

• The term is deeply personal: for some, “ladyboy” feels empowering in the face of stereotypes; for others, “kathoey” is softer, more rooted in cultural identity. Them

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Kathoey vs. Ladyboy — What’s the Difference?

• Kathoey = A broadly defined Thai gender identity. It’s local, layered, and can include trans women, but also other forms of feminine gender expression. Them+1

• Ladyboy = An English term. Often used by outsiders, and historically tied to entertainment or tourism. Them

• Importantly: which label one uses is personal. Some kathoey prefer “kathoey”; others embrace “ladyboy.” Neither is universally correct or wrong. Them

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Why This Matters

• The White Lotus monologue isn’t just shock value — it triggers big questions about identity, power, and exploitation. Some viewers noted how cisgender men fetishize not just Asian women, but gender variance itself. Them

• For many Thais, kathoey identity goes beyond Western transgender labels — understanding that helps avoid flattening rich cultural realities.

• The reclamation of “ladyboy” shows how language can be transformed: from objectification to a badge of pride and resistance.

Bottom line for LadyBoysInThailand.org readers:This isn’t just a debate about words — it’s about self-definition, history, and how outsiders interpret a deeply Thai experience. Kathoey identity cannot be reduced to a cliché or a single English word.