Natalie’s Story: Growing Up Transgender in Chiang Mai, Thailand

Growing Up Transgender in Chiang Mai: Natalie Shares Her Story

For Natalie, understanding her identity started at a very young age.

Born and raised in Chiang Mai, Thailand, Natalie says she remembers feeling like a girl when she was around five years old. Her journey included family pressure, school bullying, years of keeping herself in the closet, and eventually discovering confidence through makeup, fashion, and performing.

Now 20 years old, Natalie is studying in college and hopes to travel the world and eventually become an influencer.

In this interview, she talks openly about her childhood, family, school experiences, dating foreigners, being mistaken for a sex worker, and what she hopes the future holds.

Growing Up Without Her Father

Natalie was born and raised in Chiang Mai and grew up primarily surrounded by women.

Her parents divorced when she was very young, and according to the story she was told by her mother, her father left while she was still in the hospital after she was born.

She says he eventually returned to Liverpool and that she has never really had a relationship with him.

Instead, Natalie was raised by her mother and grandparents.

“There’s no man in my house.”

She describes her family as loving and says that, despite the difficulties she experienced growing up, she feels fortunate to have a supportive family today.

Discovering Her Identity at Five

Natalie remembers feeling like a girl when she was approximately five years old.

Her mother was previously a singer and had an extensive collection of glamorous clothing and makeup. Natalie says she would watch her mother getting dressed and doing her makeup and sometimes sneak into her mother’s closet to try on the clothes.

She describes those experiences as some of her earliest memories of expressing her feminine side.

For Natalie, this wasn’t something she remembers consciously deciding. She describes it as something that felt natural.

Family Pressure and Neighborhood Gossip

Growing up wasn’t always easy.

Natalie says some members of her family initially questioned why she behaved in a feminine way.

Her great-grandparents were particularly strict, and she recalls verbal threats and criticism when they saw her acting or dressing differently.

She says she was never physically beaten by her family, but the verbal pressure was difficult.

Another challenge was the neighborhood.

Natalie describes growing up in an environment where neighbors paid close attention to other people’s lives and frequently gossiped. That contributed to her feeling ashamed and wanting to hide.

Eventually, she began spending more time alone in her room.

Being Bullied at School

School was another major challenge.

Natalie says she was bullied during elementary and middle school because other students considered her different.

She recalls being called gay and being insulted, pushed and bullied.

According to Natalie, teachers did not do much to help. Instead, some teachers contacted her parents and suggested that something needed to be done because their son was behaving differently.

Her mother even considered taking her to a therapist in an attempt to make her more masculine.

Natalie never went.

She says that, looking back, she believes it was probably better that she didn’t.

High School Became Somewhat Easier

As Natalie became older, things started to improve.

She says people became more open during her teenage years, although verbal bullying still happened.

She also found supportive female friends who accepted her feminine personality.

At one point, however, Natalie had a major falling-out with her friends and spent approximately two years feeling alone during high school.

She says she was still very much “in the closet” during this period.

Although she had gay friends, she was the only person in her group who eventually transitioned.

Becoming a Drag Performer at 16

One of the biggest changes in Natalie’s life happened when she was around 16 years old.

Her mother had opened a wine shop that attracted many foreign customers. Natalie began performing there as a drag queen.

This gave her an opportunity to express herself publicly.

She could put on a wig, apply makeup and dress the way she wanted.

Natalie says she felt more confident and more like herself when she was dressed that way.

That experience helped her realize that she wanted to live more openly as a transgender woman.

From Cross-Dressing to Living as a Woman

Natalie says she began regularly dressing as a woman and doing a complete feminine routine only about eight months before the interview.

At first, getting ready could take around three hours.

She had to learn how to do her hair, makeup and other aspects of her appearance.

Her natural hair was still short because of school regulations, so she used hair extensions.

Now, she is excited about being able to grow her hair out.

College and Working as a Waiter

Natalie graduated from high school and is currently in her second year of college.

Before becoming more openly feminine, she worked as a waiter.

She explains that because she was still presenting as a boy at the time, she worked as a waiter rather than a waitress.

More recently, she lost that job after arriving approximately 30 minutes late.

Natalie takes responsibility for what happened and says she understands why the manager fired her.

At the time of the interview, she was looking for another job.

Dating and Relationships

Natalie says she had three relationships when she identified as a gay boy.

Since coming out as transgender, however, she says she has not had a serious relationship.

She has dated some foreigners living in Thailand and says her experiences have been mixed.

Some men were genuinely interested in transgender women, while others were more interested in experimentation or sexual experiences.

Natalie says she has encountered men who were “DL,” or down-low, meaning they did not want other people to know they were dating or interested in transgender women.

For her, one of the biggest problems is not necessarily whether someone is attracted to her, but whether they are willing to openly acknowledge that attraction.

What Happens When Men Discover She Is Transgender?

Natalie describes several experiences in clubs where foreign men approached her without realizing she was transgender.

She says she has sometimes danced with men, had them flirt with her and even kissed them before eventually telling them that she was transgender.

The reactions varied.

Some men were surprised but remained respectful and simply explained that transgender women were not what they were looking for.

Natalie says she has become accustomed to these situations.

She believes being honest about her identity is important, particularly because she worries that someone could react violently if they discovered it unexpectedly.

Being Mistaken for a Sex Worker

One of the more frustrating experiences Natalie describes is being automatically assumed to be a sex worker.

She recalls walking alone when a foreign man stopped his car and asked how much she charged.

On another occasion, a backpacker told her, seemingly casually, “good luck finding your client.”

Natalie says these experiences are frustrating because she is not a prostitute and does not want people to make assumptions about her simply because she is transgender.

She emphasizes that she respects people who choose sex work but says it is not the life she has chosen.

Her View of Thailand’s LGBTQ+ Culture

Natalie believes Thailand has become more accepting but says transgender people can still face stereotypes that other LGBTQ+ groups may not encounter in the same way.

She specifically compares the experiences of transgender women with gay men and tomboys.

In her view, gay men and tomboys can sometimes have an easier time being accepted in workplaces and everyday society, while transgender women can still be associated with the sex industry.

She believes those stereotypes can make it harder for transgender women to find ordinary employment.

Natalie also says Chiang Mai’s gay community is relatively open and visible.

She hopes attitudes toward transgender people continue changing.

At only 20 years old, she says she has plenty of time to see that change happen—and perhaps help contribute to it herself.

Natalie Wants to Travel the World

Natalie’s biggest dream is to become an influencer and traveler.

She wants to create YouTube content, explore different countries and experience different cultures.

Her list of destinations includes:

• Europe

• The United States

• Africa

• Other parts of the world she has never experienced

She previously had camera equipment but says it broke and she never had the opportunity to repair it.

Her goal is eventually to get back into creating travel content.

“Life Is Not Fair”

Perhaps the most memorable part of the interview is when Natalie shares something she wrote about her philosophy on life.

Her central message is simple:

“Life is not fair. Get used to it.”

She explains that she wrote about jealousy and how it can either destroy someone or become motivation.

Rather than allowing jealousy to turn into resentment, she believes people can use it as motivation to improve themselves.

Her message is essentially to recognize that life isn’t always equal, accept that reality, and continue moving forward.

Her Message to People Interested in Dating Transgender Women

Natalie has a straightforward message for people who are curious about transgender women.

She says people are welcome to get to know the community, but they should do so without judgment or hatred.

If someone isn’t attracted to transgender women, she says she respects that.

What she doesn’t want is hostility.

Her message is essentially: you don’t have to be attracted to someone to treat them with respect.

Looking Toward the Future

Natalie is still very early in her transition and adult life.

She’s studying at college, looking for work, thinking about hormones, hoping to travel, and dreaming about becoming a content creator.

She says she doesn’t know exactly where life will take her.

For now, she’s taking things one day at a time.

And after everything she experienced growing up—from family pressure and bullying to discovering confidence through performing—Natalie seems determined to move forward on her own terms.

Frequently Asked Questions

Where is Natalie from?

Natalie was born and raised in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

How old is Natalie?

She was 20 years old at the time of the interview.

When did Natalie first feel like a girl?

She remembers feeling like a girl at approximately five years old.

Was Natalie’s family supportive?

She says her family is supportive today, although she experienced criticism and pressure from some relatives when she was younger.

Was Natalie bullied at school?

Yes. She describes being verbally and physically bullied by other students because of her feminine behavior and perceived sexual orientation.

Did Natalie study at college?

Yes. She was in her second year of college during the interview.

Has Natalie worked before?

Yes. She previously worked as a waiter and had recently lost that job after arriving late.

Does Natalie want to travel?

Yes. One of her major ambitions is to become a travel influencer and explore countries around the world.

Does Natalie want to become a YouTuber?

Yes. She specifically talks about wanting to become an influencer and create travel content on YouTube.